Zombies are coming

*This is not real.....yet* As I sit cozy on my couch, listening to the tv. I remember the days when we were free to live a life free from flesh eating monsters, some might call them Zombies. As I sit and wonder what it is I would need to survive their attack, I've come to the conclusion that I am sadly ill prepared. Rummaging through my house, I only managed to find a coupld mini flashlights with no batteries, one dull butcher knife, and hairspray? Really this is pathetic, in times like these I really should have bought the guns and grenades. So I guess I am going to try my luck with what I have, and that being a great mind. One that I do not want the zombies eating, I'm sure its more delicious then any others out there. Anyways my tactic to survive these said Zombies would be simple, run faster then everyone else. I'm not waiting around for no one. Every man for themselves...my husband is strong enough to carry our children. And my kids are smarts enough to stay away from strangers, so I think they got zombies under control. You can't be nice in this world...do you think anyone gives two craps if the zombies are gnawing you to death? I think not... Well once running failed which I know it would (bad ankles) I would choose the next step in zombie deterent. That being acting even more whacked out then Charlie Sheen, even a zombie would steer clear from that much crazy. So its the end, all the zombies are pretty much splattered across the pavement. And my only hope is Maks from dancing with the stars has survived, and Dwayne "The rock" Johnson...oh the joys if they were the last two men on earth!